One and Only
by Ravenclaw's Resident Nerd
Summary: When Beck gives Jade a time out, she has too much time to think. And thinking too hard when your heart is secretly breaking never results in any good. Rated M for self-harm and because I don't get the way ratings work. One-Shot


**Disclaimer: Whoa, my first ever disclaimer. So let's get this straight shall we? I don't own Victorious or Cat or Beck or Jade and even if I ask for it Santa won't be giving it to me for Christmas. So now that I finished my first disclaimer…let's get on with the story shall we?**

**And I'm sorry if you guys don't like it but I'm 13 and it's my first FanFic so chill.**

**This takes place right after Beck gives Jade a time out in Beggin' on Your Knees. I know it kind of seems like, oh she wouldn't freak out like this but in my world she did.**

**One and Only**

She doesn't know what to think. He promised her that he felt nothing for Vega. But after he told her to sit on the steps (quite rudely too) it became so clear. _Beck doesn't love you anymore._

Of course there had been signs. How he never defended her when she got into arguments. How he actually agreed when people insulted her. Like when André called her a gank. _If he really loved me, if he ever did love me, he wouldn't have agreed. _

But the biggest sign. She feels so stupid for believing him when he told her it was nothing. _Vega kissed Beck. And Beck, __**my Beck,**__ kissed her back in front of me._

_Ha. _She silently laughs at herself as she gets out a sheet of paper and starts writing; her eyes glancing over at the razor, the very new, very _sharp_, razor every couple of seconds. She places the paper in an envelope, seals it, and places it on her bed before she takes the razor and walks into the bathroom.

She sits on the bathroom floor gazing at her smooth, pale arm before taking the razor and cutting her arm, softly smiling in satisfaction as she watches her blood ooze onto the floor. Cut again, just a bit deeper this time. Again and again until finally the bleeding won't stop. She feels faint. _I love you Beck, _she breathes out before her eyes close and she breathes no more.

* * *

><p>Beck Oliver wakes up in his sleep when he hears his phone ring. He looks at who it is. <em>Cat.<em> "Hello," he manages to yawn out. He knows at once that something is wrong. All he hears is Cat, peppy, bubbly, happy Cat sobbing and he can't make out any words until finally Cat manages to sob out, "Jade…home….ambulance."

Beck jumps out of bed and he doesn't even think as he starts his truck and speeds towards Jade's house. Something is wrong. Terribly wrong. He knows before he sees the flashing lights of the ambulance, before he sees Mrs. West break down in her husband's arms after the EMT walks away. _I need to get to Jade. _Something catches his eye as he makes his way over to the front door. The EMT's are bringing out a body, a body covered with a white sheet stained with blood out of the house. But it can't be anybody. Jade is the only person living in that mansion. Aside from her parents. And her parents are both here…

Tears are streaming down his face before he even reaches Jade's bedroom. He sees the open bathroom door and runs in, his heart stopping when he's welcomed in with the sight of what he knows is Jade's blood.

Beck staggers out of the bathroom, his knees going weak as he grabs onto the door of Jade's bedroom. He runs out of her bedroom, out of her house, as fast as he can praying to God that Jade, his Jade, is somehow still alive.

"Wait!" he screams to the EMT right before she closes the ambulance door. "I'm sorry," he hears her whisper softly before he gently takes the white cover off of the body in the ambulance. He feels his chest tighten and his heart break into millions of tiny little pieces. He gasp as he sees Jade, paler than he's ever seen her, the cuts on her arms ever so evident.

Beck hears screaming and someone sobbing and he doesn't even realize that it's him until he's pulled back by Mr. West. "I found this on her bed," Mrs. West tells him gently as she stuffs a sealed envelope into his hand.

* * *

><p>It's two days before her funeral and Beck decides to pull himself together and read Jade's final words to him. He opens it; his heart breaking all over again as he sees her familiar handwriting.<p>

_Beck,_

_I know you well enough to know that you aren't going to believe anything I say in this. But babe, give it a chance please? Everything I say in here is true, believe it or not._

_First, I'm sorry. I don't know when you're reading this. But if I put you through any kind of pain by my suicide, I am so sorry. And you're probably thinking that you deserve an explanation as to why I ended my life. And you do deserve one. So here it goes._

_You stopped loving me. Don't shake your head. I can tell that you don't care as much as you used to. You've stopped loving me, and I can't live in a world where you aren't mine. Sure, you tell me every day that you're mine. But I know with my heart, my mind, and my soul that I lost your heart to Tori Vega._

_I also know that right now you're thinking you could have helped me. That I didn't have to go this far over the edge. Don't you see Beck? You couldn't help me. You love Tori now and I __can't __won't change that._

_Believe me when I tell you that me being out of the way is for the best. You can finally be with Vega without being held down. As stupid as this sound Beck, you're a star and you belong in the sky. I'm the chains holding you down to Earth._

_I want you to be happy. And I can't give you the happiness that she can. I will never forget you, whether I'm in heaven, hell or wherever the dead go. You are my one and only Beckett James Oliver and I'm willing to go this far to make sure that you are the happiest that you can be. _

_With all of my love,_

_Jade._

Beck drops the letter in his hands and watched as it slowly falls to the ground. _It's my fault why she killed herself. It's my fault. I never showed her how much I truly love her; never showed her how I can't live without her. _And looking up at the dark, starry sky, he sees one star shining more luminous than the rest. _Dead or alive you were and always will be my one and only Jadelyn West._

* * *

><p>Two years later, Cat Valentine walks into the cemetery and stops in front of a large elegant gravestone.<p>

Jadelyn West

Daughter. Friend. Lover.

And as Cat slowly places the morning glory on her best friends' grave, she sees a carving on the bottom of the gravestone. _My one and only love._ Cat smiles gently looking over at the gravestone beside Jade's. "Rest in peace Beck and Jade," she whispers.


End file.
